Monday, August 6, 2012

An exclusive club of one

Monday, August 06, 2012

Nothing is ever as bad as you think it is at first.
My best friend used to lecture me on global warming back in the 1970s when he had plans to move to the top of the mountain where we might be safe.
No mountain is high enough when it comes to some disasters and no cave deep enough when you want to hide.
I rarely do either, run away or hide, but often taunt my aggressors when I think I’m right.
I like forcing other people to limit, especially when they like to hide behind things.
It’s a flaw in me, I know, but often makes other people takes risks they wouldn’t otherwise – like the imaginary three way conversation I had recently when someone pretended to be three different people in order not to have to take the blame for threatening me.
“You’d better…” the phrase always goes, and it always sets me off with “oh yeah!” even when it’s not in my best interest to do so.
But having a conversation with a person pretending to be three different people allows me to see aspects of multiple personalities that aren’t always evident in so called normal conversations: the ruthless, uncompromising persona that actually makes the threat, the logical philosophical person – who I called mother – who tries to tell me I’m crazy (I guess because I don’t speak back as three people) and the aloof figure I call father, who like God warns me that he will keep his eye on me.
My old professors of psychology pointed out that when someone says “not” in a declaration, it usually means the opposite. So when I get the phrase “he or she” is not alone, it means just that, explaining why the person needs to be three people because he or she can’t rely on the real people to stand up and be counted.
All this said, I always take threats seriously, even when I tend to taunt the person who makes them.
People who threaten are often very scared, and need to impose some kind of control over a situation.
It’s sad, and it’s comforting to know that life may slip through our fingers like sand, but I’m not the only one who feels that way, and I’m less alone in the world than the people who claim they aren’t.
In the end, all people have a right to form their own exclusive club, even if the only membership is made up of the imaginary people they create in order to feel less alone and more powerful than they are.
Me?  I’m a club of one – but I have a lot of associate members to keep me company.

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