People on the second shift just don’t get any respect (I’m
stealing this from Dangerfield, but I don’t think he’d mind.). This isn’t about
labor relations, but damned sports on radio news.
They don’t seem to understand that some people don’t get up
in time to hear their morning broadcasts and refuse to announce the sports
scores from the previous night. They seem to have an 11th Commandment which
says: Thou shall not announce sports scores after 10
a.m.
This, of course, leaves us 11
a.m. risers out in the dust when in trying to find out if our team
won or not.
Each day I tune in with the hope that this day will be
different, but it never is – the news biz being what it is, and how we are
subject to its whims. And each day, I shut off the radio as I do today, and
with the need to know this one piece of pointless information, I stumble to the
local store like a junkie aching for a fix.
The news stand man grins with his vicious but quiet
laughter, demanding payment for the paper before allowing me to search through
its pages.
And so I pay, but refuse to give him the satisfaction of my
satisfaction and stumble back outside with the paper clutched in my fingers and
stop on the sidewalk, aware of the store keeper’s evil stare through the dirty
glass as I work through page after page in search of the one I want.
I see his grin as if he knows something I do not.
The news I want is always located in a different part of the
paper and so I must look through every page.
Then, I think I see it, but no, this is an advertisement for
sports wear, a clue indicating I am close, and finally, I come upon the
headline that tells me what I ached to know: Yankees lose by seven.
I drop the paper in the trash as I almost always do, and
head back home for another hour’s worth of sleep.
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