The
boardwalk is a haven for weddings.
This day
a few days after John Lennon’s 75th birthday is no different – although it took
one complete stroll around Asbury Park
and nearby Ocean Grove before I found it.
The
weddings vary, from simple to ostentatious, sometimes with tiny tots in suits
and ties as ring bearers, sometimes not.
The ring
bearers when they do take part are usually dressed up, and uncomfortable, a
fact that appears to make them misbehave. One kid last year -- part of a photo
shoot on the beach -- shed his shoes and appeared to be heading towards the
ocean tiny tuxedo and all when they corralled him.
These
scenes and others remind me of the day when I was that small and my aunt,
Alice, got married.
I was
about seven at the time, and extremely jealous of Big Pete, who was to become
my uncle.
Years
later, after Alice’s untimely death at 41, Big Pete told the story of his first
official date with Alice – how he first had to run the gauntlet of Alice’s very
large brothers, only to discover that she was bringing me along on the date.
I didn’t
serve as ring bearer the way these poor kids did in Asbury Park, but I was
given the royal treatment at that wedding long ago, dressed up, and shown off,
as if I really was Alice’s child.
For the
family, this was one of the most significant events, the marriage of my
grandfather’s youngest daughter, a woman that was his favorite, and perhaps the
favorite of the entire family, all of whom seemed to love her as much as I did.
I know her brother, Ritchie (who I later cared for when booze drove him over
the edge – he never recovered from Alice ’s death) celebrated her wedding as if it was his own.
No two siblings were ever so close as those two were, and during her life, Alice managed to save Ritchie from himself, just as she
saved me.
I guess
it seems strange to think of ancient history while strolling Asbury Park , but I did, feeling the same sadness and joy as I did
then, seeing something similar in the faces of the tiny tots who had been
vested the duty to serve up the ring, symbol of future happiness for these
couples.
Later,
while seated on one of the benches on the boardwalk near the Stone Pony, I
heard some of the sounds from another wedding (or perhaps it was the same)
coming out from one of the seaside eateries, voices of hope, and joy, and
though I could not see the bride and groom going through the rituals of a
reception, I envisioned Alice, beautiful Alice, from that day when my whole
world changed, and she went on to start a family of her own.
I cried
that day as a young boy nearly as much as I did the day she died years later,
sensing that things could not be the same.
And yet,
hearing the joy in the voices of this Asbury Park wedding, somehow old wounds
seemed to heal, and mingling in with the sound check from the Stone Pony’s
outdoor act, the silly reception hall music, and the crash of waves on the
beach, I was seven again, and no longer crying.
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