I want to nominate Tom Steyer for sainthood

Sunday, April 22, 2018

I want to nominate Tom Steyer for sainthood,

Even if Jews can’t be saints in the Catholic faith

I want Steyer to be a saint because like all saints

He’s obsessed with bringing down the president

Who beat his candidate in an election

Steyer claims the Russians stole

And he’s willing to put his money where his foot is

Right beside the fork tongue Native Americans

Said all white men had, and Steyer’s living proof.

I want to name Tom Steyer for sainthood

Because he managed to get the New York Times

To write a slanted piece on his behalf,

Slamming his alter ego in the GOP everybody knows

Must be crooked because he’s spent even more

Than Tom Steyer has in trying to buy off public opinion.

I want to nominate Tom Steyer for the Nobel Peace Prize

Just the way some fool did for the one Obama got

But didn’t deserve, Tom being rich but still a man of the people,

Because he believes all the hogwash the LA Times

And The New York Times, and even the Washington Post prints,

Anyone that stupid has to be someone in touch with

The common folks even though Tom is filthy rich,

I want to nominate Tom Steyer for the Nobel Prize

Because he’s proved snowflakes don’t melt in sunlight

Even when they live their lives in the Golden State,

Defying logic and science the way fundamentalist Christians do,

I want to nominate Tom Steyer for sainthood

Because like saints he just lets crap come out of his mouth

And he doesn’t care, spreading bullshit like gospel

And somehow managing to make fools believe he

Knows what the hell he’s talking about when he doesn’t,

I want to nominate Tom Steyer for sainthood

Even if he is Jewish or German, or not even American,

Even if he is a liberal living on the wrong coast

Even if he doesn’t know what he’s talking about

Even though he puts up billboards

Instead of crosses, to hand a president on

Just like people back in the old days did Christ,

I want to nominate Tom Steyer for sainthood

because spends millions maybe billions

and isn’t getting anything back for his investment.

I think.