Living up to the concept that everything old is new again,
the broaching of the peace with Russia may well provide a good reuse of old
property throughout the United States.
Apparently, the hottest commodity in the real estate market
these days are old bomb shelters from the 1950s.
These are bunkers that paranoid people in hysterical fit
built back in the good old days of the Cold War when they were convinced the
Russian missiles were going to rain down on big cities like Philadelphia New
York and LA.
This is a perfect get away when public concerns shift from global
climate change to global nuclear war, and people become desperate to find a
place other than Whole Foods to protect them.
Public shelters used to exist – and can still be found in
the basements of old schools and official buildings – as indicated by the
rusting black and yellow signs still hanging outside.
But in the aftermath of the cold war, many of these older
buildings have been demolished in favor of luxury rentals who glass, and
plastic might not prove as a reliable a deterrent to the nuclear holocaust as
the old steel and stone might have.
There is still hope that a determined buy might find one of
the many private bunkers people built before the fall of the Berlin Wall – if not
yet converted by Millennials making them utterly useless when radiation sweeps
through the atmosphere instead of global warming.
Yet some may well be found born out of a hysteria that was
more concerned with Russian missiles targeting our big cities than with the threat
we might get a cold from people standing closer than six feet from us.
Acquiring an old bomb shelter, however, might not be quite
enough to sustain the average family during the aftermath of such as attack.
With all the Whole Food markets obliterated, people will be desperate for food
and water – even if they are lucky enough to find a hole to hide in.
Wisely, the so-called insurrectionists have for years been
building up their supply of food in anticipation of such an event -- since they
predicted that the Democratic and liberal agenda would eventually lead us back
to the brink of global extinction no bicycle or scooter riding can undo.
Just how we can expect people to fix these old shelters up
in time is still a problem and perhaps there are old time contractors who still
have the talent to make these place is secure again and allow people to run
into them when the bombs fall, the way people in the Midwest head for hurricane
shelters to protect them against tornados.
The big problem of course comes after the blast since it is
unlikely anybody is going to want to emerge into this radioactive landscape once
the bombing has stopped it will be hard to find an Uber or to Pedal your
scooter among the rubble and you're certainly not going to find any convenient
Farmers Market to buy your groceries in even if the shelves of normal
Supermarket weren't already bear before the bombing started.
So ultimately the only survivors of the Holocaust will be
those who have stocked up their reserves and are already accepting the fact
that the world will once more return to the concept of the survival of the
fittest.
And it is unlikely that any strangers will be allowed into
any private shelter when the bombing starts so they will largely turn to dust
relieving the world of a plague of liberals.
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