Biden is exactly the president America deserves

 

 
Sunday, February 28, 2021
 
Joe Biden managed to sign so many executive orders so fast in his first two weeks in office you have to wonder if he suffered writer’s cramps from it.
Or was he using a rubber stamp making him the first rubber stamp in history to have to use a rubber stamp to sign legislation.
Joe Biden is everything you could ever want in a president, distinguished, sometimes eloquent, and absolutely senile.
There are some common misperceptions about Biden – such that he is just a nice old man who is one card short of a deck, someone who can’t find his way to the men’s room without GPS or a guide dog.
Biden is the oldest man to ever have been sworn in as President of the United States.  If fact, he’s so old some people sometimes mistake him for one of the founding fathers, and claim he chopped down a cherry tree and later lied about it. He’s old enough to remember the first automobile and may just live long enough to see the last. He supports the Green New Deal because he can personally attest to seeing the last glaciers receding from New York City.
Biden is a man with a hotline to Moscow and Peking, and if he forgets the number, he can always ask his son.
Those in charge of the doom’s day clock can feel confident in moving the hands further away from the predicted nuclear disaster of midnight since Biden most likely won’t remember where the launch button is when the time comes – explaining why 31 Democratic congress people want someone other than Biden in charge of them
But don’t let Biden’s nice guy old man front fool you. Anyone who thinks that he is a moderate is out of their minds.
The real threat against Biden isn’t China, Russia or Iran, or even the imaginary uprising of White Supremacists, but the gang of five in Congress whose list of progressive demands sound a lot like payment on a ransom after they’ve kidnapped some close family member – perhaps his son.
Biden knows exactly how lucky he is to have gotten where he is and is doing everything, he can to show how grateful he is -- that the Democratic Party and its ultra-progressive base thought enough of him to cheat to get him made president. They could have pulled anyone – even Kermit the Frog – out of a hat, using their system of vote-getting to guarantee the nation its first green president (Kermit is green, isn’t he?)
Figure head would be the wrong term to describe Biden; Puppet is more accurate – which makes you wonder just who it is who actually pulls his strings – most likely former President Obama, who is desperate to get back his questionable legacy in Iran and Cuba.
But like Obama, one of the first things Biden managed to do is bomb Syria. It seems Democrats can’t resist shitting on that shithole of a nation. John Kerry did it. Hillary Clinton did it. Now Biden got his chance and did it, too.
Syria seems to be the Democrats scapegoat for everything. Where there are troubles at home you drop bombs on these poor unsuspecting people and everybody’s attention gets diverted overseas. Is it any wonder that we keep seeing waves of refugees streaming out of the country?
Of course, this crisis is purely Democratic since we didn’t have them streaming across borders or into the United States under the Trump administration – but then, the Trump   
War has always been the Democratic cure for a bad economy, so in this regard, Biden is just following in the amazing footsteps of his Democratic predecessors – just as he has in keeping kids in cages near the Mexico border.
Although Biden modified the laws regarding the exportation of illegal immigrants who commit crimes he did not do away with ICE and this has to piss off a lot of people who were counting on him to be something other than Obama was.
Biden is just not as competent a liar as Obama was, and doesn’t have the skills to misuse the intelligence community to spy on his political enemies the way Obama did. But sometimes, if he rehearses enough, Biden can repeat a lie – provided has a teleprompter. But you won’t catch him trying to impress people by making friends with washed up rock stars, Biden’s music sensibility went out of style before the invention of 78 rpm records.
Biden and the Democrats already miss Donald Trump – almost as much as media does – since they need Trump to keep the Democratic Party united. This explains the current witch hunt being conducted in the name of a Jan. 6 investigation.
Biden tells us he wants to unite the country and then does everything possible to create a new segregation, a factionalism that turns conservatives into witches to be burned at the stake.
If Biden can remember what he did with the matches.
 
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