Hot dogs cause global warming?

05-02-19

 It's clear that I will never be able to enjoy baseball again.  The mayor of New York City has decided hot dogs cause global warming.

This is also true of going to Coney Island where I have always counted on getting some of Nathan's Famous.

I would really like to think that the mayor of New York has simply taken a little too much LSD to explain why he has decided to destroy one of New York's cultural treats.

How anti-New York can you get by Banning hot dogs?

Since hot dogs have their origin in Germany and Eastern Europe, this must be a plot to bring about the end of life as we know it and the mayor of New York has taken a stand to protect us from our own worst instincts.

It really doesn’t matter to the mayor that there is little solid science to prove co2 causes climate change, hysteria is enough.

This is the same mayor who killed the ground hog on ground hog day no doubt seeking to protect us from the global warming of an early spring.

This is also the mayor who seeks to do away with skyscrapers made of glass, steel and concrete, choosing no doubt to lock up the population of NYC in big pine boxes - elaborate coffins in which we can await the ultimate end.

This ban on building materials will undo all progress made since before the Roman Empire and bring us back to living in tents or caves, rootless nomads or worse prisoners in some windowless dungeon from which there is no escape.

I like beer and hot dogs at ball games. But not at the expense of destroying the world. And if the mayor says hot dogs are destroying the world who am i to question him regardless of the bad science he employs to justify it?

Not only will I have to give up ball games and going to the beach, back yard barbeques are a thing of the past as well. Not just because of hotdogs but also burning of coal.

Since there are no coal mines in NYC, the mayor won’t lose votes banning burning of coal. But what comes next? Will he ban rice and beans because beans cause people to fart and scientists who sell us this scam like snake oil tell us farts cause global warming?

So does breathing and we do a lot more of that every day. Maybe the mayor will require kids in schools to breathe less often or perhaps not at all.

The real cause of climate change has little to do with man-made green house gases - if you discount all the hot air spewing from politicians like the mayor of NYC. Science shows the earth is simply returning to a warming trend that existed before the little ice age. But scientists won’t get grants to study something so mundane as that. Engineers won’t get contracts to build dykes against imaginary floods. And politicians like the mayor won’t get reelected unless they terrify the population into believing the end of the world has come.

This leaves only one question unanswered: do you want mustard or relish?

email to Al Sullivan