Voting rights bill for dead people

 

It is clear that the recent defeat of the Democratic voting rights bill has really discriminated against some potential voters.

In particular, some voters who have in the past voted Democratic in almost every election

Obviously, the GOP frowns upon dead people voting

Yet this is clearly an infringement on the rights of all those people who are in graveyards who have loyally voted Democrat – some even prior to their internment.

Some individual states have demanded that people show identification in order to vote – even possibly prove they are citizens.

This poses serious obstacles these long-time dead voters, who have voted unimpeded in the past and clearly discriminates against whole graveyards full of good citizens who can't possibly meet the identification qualifications that some states are demanding.

Photo ID is unrealistic since -- well, frankly -- the dead no longer look like they did when they were living.

Even signature check would be somewhat problematic since fleshless fingers can be a little shaky and the signatures would most likely not resemble the one, they might have had before they started to decay.

Republicans obviously have a prejudice against the Dead that makes them bigots for demanding that people be alive to be able to vote.

Many of these dead people were formally citizens and could possibly vote for the GOP if the GOP was so inclined to dig up their remains as well.

Some ungrateful and undemocratic GOP members have referred to this bill as the Zombie bill which is totally unfair.

Nobody is suggesting zombies should have the right to vote -- at least not yet.

But there is a fringe group of animal rights Democrats who believe that animals should also have the right to vote -- cats and dogs after all or basically slaves to their masters and it is clearly biased to deny them.

The problem with this is some people would like to see they're goldfish also vote and subject to GOP mandate that there be an intelligence test.

Even some of the most ardent Democrats, however, clearly opposed giving the vote to slugs -- nobody likes slugs,

To get this Democratic dead people bill passed that would allow the dead to vote, the Democrats must do away with the filibuster because there are even people in their own party who are a little skeptical over this Prospect of dead voting.

They are probably more concerned by lack of loyalty among the Dead after all for years Democrats have managed to keep their living voters in line by giving them patronage -- which is largely what the recent reparations movement for slavery was all about.

But how do you keep dead voters from switching parties when they do not need or want jobs or any reparations for having died?

Perhaps, the dead would have more sway if they like Native Americans owned and operated large casinos where they could guarantee under the table donations to the Democratic Party

Some Democrats have proposed a Party tax on the plots in which the dead are buried.

This would pose a challenge however for those who were cremated. Do you actually expect to tax and urn or find the dead person after the ashes have been scattered?

Of course, Senator Schumer has told us he will reintroduce the Dead Voting Rights Act as soon as he can twist enough arms to do away with the filibuster. The GOP, however, along with some Democrats said they will continue to oppose this bill even if it kills them.

 

 

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